Laws of Fashion

Walk a Mile In Her Shoes....

2008-05-07T07:37:00.002-04:00

Let's talk about a recent topic that eerily disturbs me - SHOES! I say eerily only because it might be hard to imagine shoes as causing consternation for a woman - other than, perhaps, when questioning such things as open-toed or sling-back, black or red.

In New York, you'd think you have the fashionable world of shoes right under your pretty toes. And in fact, I still believe you do. It's just hiding in hand-bags, away from the public eye.

Let me explain. I'd always read about women in NY wearing sneakers to work, because of the often long commutes. But until recently, I found that only elder, so-like-my-mom, not-quite-so-fashionable ladies did then. Then the sun started to come out, more flowers popped up on stands at every corner, and the sneakers came to roost.

It is my new pet peeve to see women wearing sneakers with their office dresses. Not tennis dresses, or summer dresses, like one might pair with tennis shoes for a cute match or a shopping outing. No, office dresses, suited and belted, brought to shame by a big dirty pair of sneakers.

In my opinion, we didn't have this problem in the winter because of boots. Everyone can walk in boots, so why the need for sneakers? Well, I raise the same question now: will all of summer's cute flats, why the nead for sneakers?

Obviously, dissenters out there will decry: "To wear my cute summer heels" Well, ladies, I too like to wear cute summer heels - and if I make such a decision I wear them all the way to work. Why hide them? Don't they, too, deserve some sunlight?

But my point for those who are less balance-happy than I in open-toed spikes: you could at least compromise. If you refuse to be able to asphalt those heels you want to wear inside the office, at least opt for a summer flat instead of the sneaker. The fashion world would owe you much thanks!

Let's Broach the Subject...

2008-05-05T19:25:00.002-04:00

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about broaches (or brooches, depending on what part of the States you come from).

When I was growing up, brooches (I prefer this spelling, being from the South but having Northern roots) seemed to be something only my grandmother would feel comfortable sporting. And not my cool, dignified, classy, leading lady grandmother, either. My 'born in a log cabin' grandmother. Seriously.

But now, they seem to be the hot topic, and recently I've came into possession of one myself.

You see, working in the fashion industry, I see lots of fashion perks. But being on the jewelry end, I don't really reap many of the benefits (unless, of course, you consider 65% off designer jewelry a perk). I do, however, cross paths with many people who constantly find themselves perking up at the prospect of a sample sale. And most recently, I found myself obtaining an Rebecca Taylor cardigan, with a brooch, that she had obtained from a friend who received the sample from a left-over Rebecca Taylor sample sale. Ahhh, networking.

So I have this charcoal gray Rebecca Taylor cardigan, darling, but I find that it's intended to be held together with a brooch. I myself, being thin in the shoulders, prefer to tie my cardigans, so as not to have an unfashionable balloon in the back. Which left me with a dilemma ... what do I do with the brooch?

Thankfully, the most fashionable thing to do with brooches this season is to adorn your hair. With the advent of Grecian hairstyles (in my opinion, Gladiator sandals, goddess dresses, and Grecian ponies are most definitely the result of the Olympic games....) a brooch is perfect.

So ladies, don't be turned off by that perfect cardigan just because of the 'grandma-esque' brooch adorning it. With a little innovation and some 'hair is the best accessory to any outfit' fun, a simple brooch can become quite appealing.

Kudos to the transcendance of fashion.

Vive la France! But down with the FFC

2008-04-16T19:13:00.004-04:00

The Associated Press has recently announced that 'thin' is out in France. The lower house of the French Parliament adopted a bill to outlaw the promotion of extreme thinness.

Generally speaking, we find that governments do not have much to say in the world of fashion. And why should they? We live in a country founded by men who wore wigs and wooden shoes. Granted Miu Miu might have a few things to say about that last insult, but you get the gist.

What irks me about this latest news is that the French Federation of Couture opposes this law. In America, we are seeing an influx of influential persons in the fashion industry, from Tyra Banks to the editors of major fashion magazines, embracing a more "curvier model." These models are still by all means 'thin' compared to the average size 8-14 American woman, but they aren't 'bare-your-bones' thin, which sadly used to be an industry standard.

I remember watching the beginning of one season of America's Next Top Model, when one model-hopeful was SO thin that it bared her ribs ... ALL of her ribs. It was sad to watch, but at the same time, you sort of respected the judges for not accepting this girl and telling her, in the same way as they would say to a girl of the other extreme, that her weight was unhealthy and that they could not promote such a standard to their viewing public. Controversial, but sometimes controversy is needed.

So why should France's F of C rebel against such a bill? The bill does not really infringe upon any healthy fashion right. It does not limit the price tag of a pair of Jimmy Choos, nor does it forbid a pairing of lace and cashmere. Its sole purpose is to protect the health of its country's inhabitants, especially younger women who may face psychological problems created from an unrealistic industry standard.

"Never will we accept in our profession that a judge decides if a young girl is skinny or not skinny," berates Didier Grumbach, of the FFC. But is that really the purpose of the bill? I dare to say no. I think the legislation is merely an effort to create some kind of standard for the betterment of society; I do not think it aims to play fashion police.

In fact, the bill states that it would be illegal for anyone to publicly incite "extreme thinness." I think any medical doctor could be called to testify as to what constitutes "extreme" and I think that would have to mean an unhealthy BMI, and I think that should be watched anyway. No one should want to knowledgably create unhealthy ideals. It's okay to want to be thin, it's not okay to strive to the extreme - the crux of this idea.

I am sure this is seen as a excellent stride in the mind's of model's worldwide, who still remember the 2006 anorexia-linked death of one of Brazil's most famous models. I certainly don't believe the media should be blamed for such psychological disorders an anorexia nervosa, but I don't think it is causing un-due harm to cut down on whatever influence, however small.

Kudos to France.

From Couture Runway to High School Promenade

2008-03-17T21:59:00.003-04:00

If it hadn't been for an article on designer Vaugh Jereaux's custom prom dresses, I would have probably forgotten that the season of this coming-of-age ritual is just around the corner.

But while Vaughn Jereaux, a 25-year-old creator of NY prom gowns (and thus the 'Godfather' of day-dreaming teens in the city) is churning out his masterpieces, I couldn't help but think of some prom faux-pas from my past.

Take sophomore prom, for example. Aside from the fact that my date's name was Buddha, I found nothing hilarious about the experience. I wore a glittery white spaghetti-strap; long in the back, mini in front. Someone forgot to tell me that looking back on the occasion I would realize how ghetto my choice was. But it gets better (or should I say worse?). I wore elbow-length white satin gloves - with diamonds cut along the seam. Very 1980's.

I had a better dress for senior prom, although my date still had an awkward nickname (it was Ziggy). A floor-length strapless number with a gentle side-fall and the proper ruching, it did my figure and my complexion justice. But I made the mistake of being too exact in relating the color (eggplant) and my well-meaning escort matched his tux to the color he thought my dress to be - a puke green. Eggplant, ladies and gentleman, is a shade of purple.

Looks like with Jereaux's collection (http://www.vjcollection.com) girls may have better luck. More power to them.

The Little Mermaid...or Why Isla Fisher Looks Like a Drowned Puppy

2008-03-15T21:46:00.004-04:00

http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/confessionsshopaholic1.jpg

If you haven't picked up this week's edition of Entertainment Weekly, then I have included the above link to give you some frame of reference to this post.

If you have picked up a copy of EW then you know what I'm about to say.

First there was Cashmere Mafia, then there was Lipstick Jungle, and if that wasn't enough to prove to humanity that no show would be a hit if trying to impersonate Sex and the City, there came Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Unfortunately, Confessions goes even farther. Whereas Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle at least adhere to fashion-savvy constructs, Confessions makes me want to cry for the love of fashion everywhere.

I'm not quite sure if Isla Fisher looks like a Swedish milk-maid, a mermaid, or a clown. (You may not be able to see in the picture above, but EW features the bottom half, which includes brightly colored flourescent under-skirts in blue, green, and red. Through in the dalmation fur and I want to give Curilla De Ville a fashion applaud.

The only redeeming qualities to this get-up are that a) the shoes are actually hot [if you have no frame of reference, they are some incredible hot-pink slingback heels] ; b) Isla Fisher has the personality to pull this off [it is for a film at least, and not a real-life siting] ; and c) this outfit holds too true to those women on the street who fill their closets with trend after trend without any idea how to wear them on the street.

May Isla Fisher in Confessions of a Shopaholic teach a lesson to us all.

Amuse-Biatch, or how every run-of-the mill TV star wants to work it on the runway

2008-03-14T07:48:00.005-04:00

"The Hills" star Lauren Conrad debuted her self-titled fashion line at Los Angeles' Fashion Week.

This comes on the heels of many other teeny-bopper stars, from Mary Kate and Ashley Olson to, rumor has it, even Lindsey Lohan, forging their own fashion lines.

But ask any REAL designer - Valentino, Marc Jacobs, the ever-so-business savvy Diane Von Furstenberg - and they would probably agree with me --- TV-icon and movie-star fashion designers are as trendy, and fleeting, as their childhood careers. It takes a lot more than a little bit of fame to actually sink your teeth into the designing world.

Besides, if you actually SAW Lauren Conrad's line, you might not have given her a second thought. The rise of the trapeze dress was totally two season's ago, and whereas her balooning shapes might do justice to a trendy mother-to-be, I found her curve-covering shapes even less appealing than their original counterparts.

Perhaps it's too harsh to comment on her first line, but true fashion designers are able to mix personality, individuality, art, and the greater character of the season, roll them together into a five-course meal, and serve healthy servings to the public in a quarterly fashion.

Lauren Conrad, well, hers is more like a fleeting amuse-bouche. Or should I say, amuse-biatch.

Sheer Madness

2008-03-12T19:34:00.002-04:00

Fashion weeks may come, fashion weeks may go, but no recent fashion week in history has brought me such sheer joy as March 08. As Fall's new looks strutted down the runway, I was swept away from the drab wind and rain and into the palatable pallettes of colors Picasso would die for. As clothes became increasingly breathable, and thus wearable, I let out audible sighs.

But then, ladies and gentleman, I heard a gasp escape, which then subconsciously turned into a groan, and a sigh. Alas, I had spotted THE trend that fashion-less females are going to screw up. Let's admit it - there's that ONE trend every season. The one that someone hears about but doesn't quite understand. The result, disaster. Some seasons it's animal prints, where grandmas hit the streets in leopard print pants and zebra diaper bags thinking it's hip. Some seasons it's the 80s comeback, where unfortunately too many BAD aspects of the decade seeps through into the new (the return of the mullet anyone?) This season I predict it to be - sheer fabrics.

Designers can do sheer right. They can play with texture, they can mix and match, they can hope their clients do their clothes as much justice as the clothes do for them.

But I just know that someone you're going to see people wearing sheer overlays and their skivvies, thinking bras and granny panties substitute for layering. And the first time I see a sheer shirt on an overly bodacious drunken woman with fat rolls walking down the street, well, I just might scream.

If this trend gets out of hand, there's going to be sheer madness.

So if you dare to keep things bare, remember the following rules:

Sheer is only sexy if it's not skin-baring.
Keep things sophisticated. Think French boudoir mistress chic, not Eliot Spitzer's prostitute hoochy-mama sneak.
Layer. A skimpy bra does not count as layering.
Use it as an accent, not as your main piece of clothing.

We will survive this season? Or will it be another fashion faux-pas? Only time will tell.

Now That's Clutch

2007-12-31T10:00:00.000-05:00

While spending a down-to-earth weekend reading the January edition of Elle, I found myself becoming more and more grateful for the return of the minimalist movement, which emerged in the early 1990s fashion world, but was then replaced by oodles of bows and most dramatically bags the size of a small second grader. Do I care about sleek lines and a white and black color palette? Well, that's irrelevant since 2008's minimalism includes vibrant color and movement-friendly material. But what I am happy to see is the return of smaller handbags, most notably the clutch.

You see, large bags was a trend I had a love-hate relationship with. I'm not for carrying your life around in a bag, essentially because I forget my life is in there and either a) lose track of it or b) spend hours looking for my keys when they're merely sitting quietly in the dark abyss that is my purse. I grew up with a mother who did indeed carry her life in her purse, but she went to the other extreme - pulling a Mary Poppins and stuffing that life in a smaller-than-thou purse "so as not to have as much to carry". Picking up her small ladies woven bag felt like picking up a brick, and it was even more impossible to sift through. But alas, I digress.

The point of the matter is, I did adopt the large bag trend - I just never really carried that much around in it. Granted it made for fashionable entrances into the few college classrooms I actually forced myself to attend - a bag large enough to carry a laptop, textbooks, and a giant smoothie is my friend any day. But for the most part I never carried anything around in it, and found myself carrying a bag for the sake of a bag. I once had a bouncer laugh at me during a bag check - I came in carrying a huge black beauty, but you open it up and the only thing in the bottom was an ID.

Upon my move to NY I did discover one swell reason to carry around a trash bag sized Hobo. With throngs of tourists, lost, confused, and impeding upon your scurry to work (some people in NY are here for more than the little sidewalk pretzels) it's nice to be able to barrell through, my bag charging ahead like a pioneer colt rifle, ready to take on anything that's in my way.

But going back to the hand-held, light-weight, cute as a button bag that can carry all I really need without bringing along all of that other...baggage? Now that's clutch.

Keeping The Faith

2007-12-19T10:04:00.000-05:00

Rapping monks. Nuns strutting their ba-dunk-a-dunks. When I heard this two things came to mind: yet another season with a sub-par America's Next Top Model finale or part two of Ben Stiller's rabbinical charades.

But alas, it turns out that this is something that would blow even the mind of the part Shiite Muslim Irish bartender with Jewish relatives that comes to light in Stiller's movie.

Ladies and gents, this is real.

It happened Saturday, and it was promoting Buddhism - aimed at winning back believers.

When I read THIS, two more things came to mind. First, how is a fashion show going to win back believers? Most Buddhists I know are fashion faux pas in the making anyway. And secondly, isn't Buddhism ALREADY the largest growing religion on the world? I grew up in a conservative small town in Virginia before I came to the more liberal New York, and yet I know that my younger sister has Bible-belt friends with little Buddha shrines in their bedroom. It brings peace, it brings harmony, it's the cool thing to do now that sushi is so 1990's.

Thanks to Tyra Banks I realize that the catwalk has its roots in southern churches, but perhaps this is taking it too far.

Liberty, Equality....and Fashion

2007-11-09T15:05:00.002-05:00

Living in New York, I thought I had it all. The peak of the fashion world on one end of Manhattan, and everything vintage I could possibly crave a short trip away to the village on the other.

But then I read about Sugarcube. In New York? Unfortunately not, but it is a short Amtrak ride away in Philadelphia.

Perhaps I was lured by the charming French settee I noticed displayed in the center of the showroom. Perhaps it was the oh-so-vogue French chandeliers hanging down. Or perhaps it was digesting the fact that the owner was able to track down a 1950s red silk dress matched with an authentic 1940s alligator purse.

Whatever it was, I will be sure to add 'trip to Philadelphia' onto my travel list, and hope for the day I am able to get off of my shopping diet and go feast on some vintage charm.

Twice the Spice

2007-10-18T13:18:00.000-04:00

Starting next month, your night time wardrobe isn't the only thing that you can add a little spice to upon a trip to your local Victoria's Secret. Vicky's is due to start carrying the Spice Girl Reunion album to give you something to shake your bon-bon to.

The only question is, does this fashion link-up carry the amount of pizazz needed to keep the Spice Girl's album from being another flop? And what's to say that Spice Girls at Vicky's is going to be more successful than, say, Spice Girls at Wal-Mart?

Granted Vicky's is sort of a more, ahem, personal shopping experience than a dash to the local Wally World, but when I'm there I'm more interested in the latest undergarment free-be, and trying to decide whether or not that peppermint bust enhancer is really worth the $48.

At the same time, girls who came of age with the Spice Girls (i.e. the eight and nine year olds who crooned away to the first album) are coming of Vicky's age, too. Perhaps there is room in their coquetish pink shopping bag for Victoria Beckham next to Victoria's Angel Collection. Only time will tell.

No Longer Pretty In Pink

2007-10-17T12:32:00.000-04:00

Although not my FAVORITE color, my wardrobe has certainly been affected with the fashionable rise of pink, which was solidified by my collegiate decision to join a sorority which also lauded the rosacious color.

So as you can imagine, I was a little disappointed when grown out highlights and the slow dissipation of my locks' golden glow caused my hair to turn a brownish shade of red.

We all know that raging red clashes with perfect pink.

This got me thinking about this year's fashion trends, as seen recently in Paris, Milan, and LA. Looks like pink is being replaced via the runway pallette as well, giving way to blue and RED.

Did fashion change just in time for my lock-luster adapatation? Am I that lucky?

Not quite. In my opinion, fashion has changed to mold to the swaying decisions of the stars: Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, even J.Lo are jumping on the red bandwagon.

And with red-headed fashionistas being depended upon to strut your latest fashion line to A-list events, well, let's just say even the big-dogs have to think fast.

Because of this, why, I just might consider this season's hair my "one new piece" accessory. Let's see if I can make it work with every outfit.

Fashion 101

2007-10-16T12:45:00.000-04:00

A busy weekend has allowed me to get behind on the latest fashion gossip, but it turns out most people are seriously behind when it comes to the origins of some fashion statements. Realsimple.com tried to change this yesterday morning by educating the masses.

Some lessons of interest:

Pointy-toe shoes. Yes, I'm a fan. After graduating from high school I decided I might go the round pump route, but clocking in at the time under 5'4" and wearing round toed shoes = midget territory. If there's one thing 'What Not To Wear' soon taught me, it was that I needed some pointy shoes to elongate my profile. After that, I was hooked. Well, it turns out that these pointy toed shoes weren't just the fashion fad of 2004. They've actually been around for about 700 years. But truth be told, they weren't always used to elevate one's stature - at least not in the sense I was exploring. Polish laws dictated the allowable length of pointy toed shoes based on one's social status. If you were just an everyday chap, you better not sport a toe longer than six inches. Rich and famous? Well then, you can go for up to two feet. And I used to think walking in spikes was a feat (no pun intended). Turns out pointy-toed shoes have always been for the divas.

Mary Janes. The shoe, not the illegal substance. I used to think these were cute when I was, oh, say twelve. Now, when I see one of my students wearing them I can't help but cry out in the tunes of fashion emergency. Maybe it has something to do with the rounded toes, but I associate Mary Janes with youngsters. So does history - about a hundred years ago these shoes obtained their name from a character in "Buster Brown," a children's comic. I rest my case.

Itching for more fashion trivia? Check it out at: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/homestyle/10/12/rs.fashion.truths/index.html?iref=newssearch

Come On Vogue

2007-10-12T10:12:00.000-04:00

Having come to think of myself at least partially as a New Yorker, I was depressed to be in the mountains of Virginia during the Big Apple's auction of Nan Kempner's extensive wardrobe.

The past fashion week has disappointed me. YSL succumbed to what I call the "Louis Vuitton" malady: sporting their logos all throughout the runways. Ballenciaga, although lauded by many, seems to mix and match too many different "courtly" patterns this year - while proclaiming the line to be fit for a European princess, it seems a tad bit Oriental in my opinion. Designers seem to be hitting, but certainly missing, lately.

But who can ever criticize the timeliness of Kempner's haute couture. Although doubtless vintage to many, her auction comes at a time when vintage just happens to be 'in'. And a double wammy? Proceeds both went to charity and were affordable for the average gal - many in the $100-$200 range. Can you really beat that?

YSL must be glad that they at least redeemed their logo-mishap via Kempner's wardrobe, with a cashmere sweater selling for $3000. I would bet my own wardrobe it didn't have YSL on it ;)

America's Next Top Inmate

2007-10-11T12:44:00.000-04:00

Anyone who's as big a fan of "American's Next Top Model" as I find myself to be will undoubtedly remember Anand Jon Alexander's appearance during the 2003 season.

Unfortunately, if one is looking for him these days they have to steer far away from the glamorous world of flashing lights and turn to one that reverberates solely with clashing bars: the bars on his prison door cell that is. (Although not yet convicted, he faces up to life in prison).

You would think that someone who could get his fill of such celebrity heart-throbs of Ms. Paris Hilton and Michelle Rodriquez or enjoy the croons of Mary J. Blige would not have to turn to illegal activities with 15 year olds. Well, 59 counts of sexual assault later, and you would be wrong.

Of course, I'm sure Alexander is hoping to lean upon the sympathies of those who think these innocent girls brought the charges to somehow "take him for a ride." I, however, believe Alexander was the only one doing any 'riding'. Hopefully justice will actually be seen in his case. Let's hope the judge lacks a keen sense of style.

Cotton: The Fabric of OUR lives?

2007-10-10T13:10:00.000-04:00

I was duly impressed when flipping through the past week of CNN articles. One scientist somehow claims that thirteen year olds are less likely to binge drink if eighteen year olds can do so legally. I suppose that's why scientists don't run the White House.

But one scientifically based article did catch my eye. It appears that a Cornell student has found a way to create a sort of 'nanofabric' that would repel germs. My first thought: oh wow, like the new Tide pens, except on hippy hardcore overdrive.

But I continued to be impressed. Apparently these 'nanoparticles' that the clothing is infused with are so small that you feel the same as you would in a cotton T-shirt. Lounging around the house in your normal garb, instead of a Jetson-like space suit. More assurance, perhaps I shall delve into this trend.

....or NOT. Just like with those pesky telecommercials, you have to read the fine print. Except this print might not seem so 'fine' You yourself can have a fabric swatch the same as Olivia Ong - for a small price of one thousand easy payments of $9.99. That's right folks, this Cornell student's experiment cost a whopping 10K. I'll stick to the Old Navy clearance rack if you don't mind.

But don't take my word for it. Decide yourself if Ong's fashion line is worth your savings:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/10/03/nanotextiles/index.html?iref=newssearch